being a man online

http://sofiastry.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/what-ive-learned-pretending-to-be-a-man/

A criticism of women on dating sites, written by a woman who pretended to be a man for a day on one.

I never did the online dating thing much, but I did troll Myspace a bit back in the day, using it like a dating site (I only ever met a few girls there, but it’s how I met my wife) and her observations are pretty much spot on for dating in general and especially the realm of online dating sites.

I’d actually like a more in-depth post on this, someone should do it for a month, get deep, take screencaps, write it up. I’d read it.

Let me comment point by point:

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leave your fanboy at the door

Here’s one thing I’ve learned in life so far, and it’s something that I don’t think a lot of people think about. I’ve told several people this, about one thing or another, and I don’t know if it’s ever sunk in.

If you are a member of any “fan community” for something, be it a forum or a Facebook page or whatever, you’ll notice that feedback for a given thing tends to rise and fall. People that were raving about a show last year will be saying that this season sucks, and that they should go back to this or that, and that it’s just not the same. It’s universal, it always happens.

What is happening here? I noticed it in myself when I was a sad lonely post-high school teenager, and was a “fan” of a radio show. I was a regular on the forums, where myself and other fans discussed the show and other things (at a 1:20 show to otherthings ratio). After a while, you run out of things to talk about, and you start analyzing harder. You listen closer. You become more critical. Eventually, you find enough things you don’t like that you start to think that everything you liked about the show is gone, and you point this out, and other people start to analyze harder, and it starts what Dwarf Fortress would call a tantrum spiral.

In reality, in most cases, the show’s probably not worse, just different. Think back to the old days, when you first started enjoying this form of entertainment, be it a band, a TV show, a radio show… whatever. You turned it on and enjoyed. That’s it. Now what are you doing? Be conscious of it. Really inspect your own actions as you “enjoy” this form of entertainment that you’re growing to despise.

Chances are you’re overanalyzing, and romanticizing the past. You’re not just enjoying the entertainment anymore.

The solution? Keep an eye on yourself, and back off. If you’re a nerd like myself, obsessive fanboyism comes with the territory, but don’t let it ruin your enjoyment of great entertainment. I’ve listened to new episodes of the show I used to enjoy, and find that I like it just as much, even though it’s changed massively in the few years since I last listened, because my critical eye has been glued shut.

It’s why critics of all kinds are such assholes, especially those that get paid for it. They pay close attention for things they don’t like, rather than the things they do. They pay more attention to the bad than the good, it just hops out at them and it’s all they see.

It’s a survival mechanism you’re going to have to learn to develop, if you want to just enjoy the things you enjoy and not end up a bitter old fuck bitching about some TV show on the internet, wondering how so many idiots could still like this thing that was “so much better” when you first found it.

For extra credit: apply it to everything and find out that it works in all aspects of life, from jobs to relationships to your car.

now i’m found

I made this site and never posted, uncertain of what it would be, but I think I’ve figured it out. It is exactly whatever happens to be floating through my brain at the moment, or whatever I happen to like.

See, I dump things I enjoy here, and I can revisit as I wish.

I can write what I want, I can link what I want, and I don’t care if anyone reads or doesn’t read.

I’ll never be one of those people that wants people to read my blog. I mean, by all means, if you (the imaginary reader) enjoy what I throw up here, that’s great. It’s kinda what the internet is about, sharing. That’s the only reason this site is even public. It’s there to be seen, but I don’t care if it gets seen.

I am just a neuron in the global brain that is humanity, and this is part of my output. It’s up to you, connected neurons, to do what you will with the input.

There is nothing here of importance. There is no pretension to deep meaning. There isn’t even an overarching message to be gained from this website. I don’t claim to be a holy man, a guru, an expert, someone to be followed, or even to be listened to. I just am.

It’s also six in the morning here, and I haven’t slept much lately, if that explains anything.

I think I had originally set this site up to be some sort of bullshit income-generating blog, but now I don’t give even half a fuck. I didn’t even realize I still had ads set up until I hit incognito mode really quick to see what the front page looked like without being logged in, and because I have adblock like every other halfway-savvy person on the internet, which is off in incognito, I forgot the ads were even there. Relatively unobtrusive, so whatever.

If, for some reason, I find this site getting traffic and my bill goes up, I’m gonna have to figure out a way to make money from it, or shut it down, having no choice. I’m a line cook, I don’t have money. There have been many times that I’ve thought about cancelling my hosting, just to save the $10 per month, and I haven’t, for whatever reason. I have half-finished crap that never went anywhere all over this server, and who knows when the “big idea” might come, right?

Right.

Anyway. Enjoy, invisible reader, but bear in mind: I’m not doing this for you. This is an entirely selfish endeavor.