To the Nice Guys

Says he's there to listen, gets annoyed when you mention your boyfriend.
This is you. Now read.

I know you. I used to be like you. I was a self-proclaimed “nice guy” myself. We should start a club. Dibs on President. My first motion as President of the Nice Guys Club: I move to disband.

I’m going to give you the advice that I wish I could have given myself: take a look at yourself, and knock it the fuck off.

Let me first define what I mean by “Nice Guy.” Note the capitalization, it’s a proper noun. It’s a type.

Are you always in the “friend zone” with women you are interested in? Do you then decide to wait it out, be the bestest friend ever ever ever and hope that one day she’ll turn around and declare her undying affection for you and live happily ever after?

That’s what I mean by Nice Guy, and let me be clear. It is not going to work for you. Life isn’t a RomCom.

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Damn, it’s 2013. Just like that. The last year just kinda blew by for me.

I’ve been itching to blog again, as much as I hate the word. Let me restate that: I’ve been itching to write again.

I’ve been writing a little thing for my own entertainment, not expecting anything out of it. A novel, I guess. The outline is broken up into about eight sections, major plot points, and I’ve only written one of them, and it’s about twenty pages long so far and only just now starting to wrap up. So yeah, a novel.

I don’t know if it’ll go anywhere. I made up a few characters, I gave them a story and a version of the world we know, a challenge, and set them free to go about their business. If it comes out good, great. If it doesn’t, well… it’s just masturbation.

A little explanation and history behind this site, I’ve used the pseudonym “frenik” online since I was 14. Half my life, now. My brother and I were playing a MUD called Rock II: Crashed Plane. Doesn’t exist anymore, at least not in its original state, and that’s okay. As far as MUDs go, it was awesome at the time (had a web interface way back then), but these days I think I’d find it a bit simple.

Anyway, we planned to go PKing together and gang up on everyone else, being 12 and 14. I had been using the name “Lagarto,” picked out of my Spanish-English dictionary that I used in Spanish I my freshman year of high school. It meant either “beef” or “alligator,” depending on your source. I lean towards alligator, of course. No one wants to be called “Beef.”

I decided to pick out theme names, so people would know we were stomping about together. They were based on psychiatric suffixes because we were so crazy, right? The first one was easy, and I gave that to him: “Fobik.” See, I changed the Ph to an F and the C to a K. Because it was the late 90’s, and that was still cool. Mine was a bit of a struggle, but I came up with it eventually: “Frenik.”  As in schizophrenic. It also (something I didn’t realize until years later) happens to harmonize with my real name, to the point where friends thought that’s where the name came from.

I ended up using it everywhere, dropping “lagarto” as my internet handle and picking up “frenik.” Everywhere I went (and I went everywhere), I was the first frenik. I loved the name, no one else was using it, I never had to add fucking numbers to it or anything. Chances are, if there’s a site out there and there’s a “frenik” on it, it’s me.

I bought the domain around the time I was eighteen, and it’s always been mine since. I haven’t done much with it, but it’s mine. It’s my personal site, to do whatever I want with, even if that’s nothing. It’s my space.

It had to happen eventually, though. Some time in the last few years “frenik” started to be taken sometimes. No big deal, I have a backup that’s never taken and I don’t mind using it. But my attachment to the name is heavy.

I doubt you read all that. Who gives a shit, right? But it’s out there.

Getting things out there is a strong move. When I sit down and really think about it, I’m mystified by the internet. So much data, so much information, right and wrong.

The other day my wife got her father’s truck stuck in four wheel drive low, and texted me. Within 30 seconds, I had the fix: put it in reverse and go backwards about 20 feet, then try. It worked, and she was on her way to work in the two minutes it took between texting me and me texting back. Praise Google.

I’m a big fan of internet forums. I don’t post on any these days, I don’t have the time. But having them archived is great for finding information. I turn to archived posts in car forums whenever I need to fix something on my car. Every little problem is talked about, good information out there.

I think the best thing a citizen of the internet can do is to get information out there. You learn something? Dump it. Put it out, make it public, make it searchable. I don’t troll, it’s a waste of time.

I think that’s the direction this site is going to take. When I take an interest in this topic, I take notes. In case you’re interested, I use Microsoft OneNote 2010 as my final system (only because I already had it for school and was never quite satisfied with Evernote). Notes on scraps of paper and pages of my notebooks end up in OneNote. Typing them all over again helps reinforce the memory.

If I’m doing something on the computer, the notes go straight into OneNote. I link, I organize, I keep pretty good notes. This practice has only just begun, but I get better every time I tackle a new project.

And that’s where this is going, I guess. I want to put out information, researched acceptably, referenced, linked up so you can check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me. I don’t have a lot of time, but I consider this time well spent. Not only do I learn about a topic, but I put it out there for others to find.

I have a mixed opinion about comments. I think my official policy here is going to be to enable comments for articles that could use them, and just go through and manually remove the ones I deem to be garbage. My spam filter should catch most of the spam, but I’ll take it upon myself to clean the useless information.

Here’s how I look at it: this is my house. You’re welcome to visit, and participate, and have fun. But I’ll kick you the fuck out if you shit on the floor.

2013: make it your year. I’m trying to make it mine.