being a man online

http://sofiastry.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/what-ive-learned-pretending-to-be-a-man/

A criticism of women on dating sites, written by a woman who pretended to be a man for a day on one.

I never did the online dating thing much, but I did troll Myspace a bit back in the day, using it like a dating site (I only ever met a few girls there, but it’s how I met my wife) and her observations are pretty much spot on for dating in general and especially the realm of online dating sites.

I’d actually like a more in-depth post on this, someone should do it for a month, get deep, take screencaps, write it up. I’d read it.

Let me comment point by point:

Men constantly have to be on.

Word. I think every guy knows to “flip the switch” when talking to a woman he’s interested in. You have to be at the top of your game, and in the beginning, most of the time, get nothing back. Women (and I think it would be obvious that I’m generalizing heavily) seem to at least pretend to be disinterested at first, and it seems to be exceedingly difficult to get their attention.

Now, I’ve never had trouble being witty online when I need to be. That’s why it was so much easier for me to meet girls online, back in my dating days. This same process takes place when meeting strangers in, for example, a bar, a place where people go almost exclusively to meet people of the opposite sex.

Recalling all of this brought up a buried memory of talking to a girl via AIM or something who was giving me absolutely nothing to work with, replying just enough to keep me online. I performed like a stand-up, trying to get anything out of her to start a real conversation, and ended up succeeding, but it was a death march to get the wheels turning.

Women are fickle.

I have absolutely had women turn on a dime for no reason that I could pick out, and I’ve always been fairly self-aware. I think she nails the reasons in her post, and I don’t have anything else to say.

Women are boring and have very high estimations of themselves.

As she says, this is a generalization and she should say “people”, but she’s right. Although I think that it’s just the mask we all wear in public, the image we’d like to project. Almost everyone’s surface is boring and uninspired.

The bottom line is that these are all generalizations, but the post is a good insight into the struggle a man has to work through to even get a date. If you have never experienced the things in the article, and you’re a man, then hello Brad Pitt, I like your movies. The rest of us know exactly where she’s coming from.

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